All sexual activities should be mutually agreeable and enjoyable to both partners. Though sometimes one partner may not particularly enjoy a specific sexual act, they may learn to enjoy it somewhat for the other partner's sake, and may eventually find it satisfying. However, no sex act should be coerced out of selfishness by one partner or the other. The sexual relationship should not be selfish, but selfless in nature. When a sex act is done in the context of a loving relationship, it can usually be viewed as healthy sexuality. Young couples will inevitably find the need to explore their sexuality together and experiment with various sex acts and on different positions that will be mutually stimulating.
Some Christians may find particular sexual positions and acts to be uncomfortable for themselves or disturbing to their partners. There are many differences in the way men and women view the sexual act within the marital relationship, but when it is in the context of a loving union, these differences can be worked out. Couples will invariably find that one position is more satisfying to one partner than to the other. Some women enjoy being stroked on the front of the clitoris either in the traditional marriage bed position or with her on top of the man in a semi-sitting straddling position. Some men may prefer to take a woman in the reverse position with the woman's back to him. This may be helpful during pregnancy. Some couples may be uncomfortable with oral sex primarily because of two factors. It is not conducive to personal hygiene, nor is it very intimate.
It is known to promote the herpes simplex virus, especially when casually done with multiple partners. This is not to say that some Christians have not participated in this particular sex act and enjoyed it, but that some do not particularly welcome it and may even find it awkward. Where anal sex is concerned, most Christians find this to be quite to the contrary of an intimate relationship. First, it is usually painful and secondly, it certainly does not promote cleanliness. Unhealthy germs and bacteria can spread to the vaginal canal causing a host of health problems. Furthermore, it is primarily practiced by homosexuals, and finally it is rarely intimate.
Though some Christians admit to having participated in anal intercourse, it is usually not without some guilt feelings associated with the practice. Some Christians discover that finding their own sexuality can be an excruciatingly painful emotional experience riddled with unwarranted guilt feelings. With rape and incest so prominent as it is in this period of time, many children, as well as adults who have experienced these traumas suffer with a false sense of guilt. Some type of counseling may be necessary for those who are struggling with these kinds of emotions. This counsel may be either pastoral or psychological, or possibly even support from another survivor, depending on the severity of the circumstances.
There are many other questions, which Christians might face at one time or another in their sex lives. Most will ultimately have to assess the values they grew up with as well as the values that their spouse grew up with. The early experiences that each partner has had will greatly determine sexual preferences and aversions. Except for a few vague passages of scripture on sexuality that we must interpret for ourselves with prayer and guidance from the Holy Spirit, some Christians believe they have no concrete guide from God on some of these issues. We do have verses that plainly say that God is against adultery, homosexuality, and fornication (sexual sin, particularly outside of the marital context). Other verses may give us clues, but do not necessarily give us clear boundaries. As previously stated, there are many good books that can answer questions about sexuality in much more detail than this article has gone into. There are many with a godly perspective on sexuality in Christian Bookstores. It is highly recommend that Christians utilize these sources, as they are the best sources on healthy sexuality.
