A couple of days ago, a mother shared her concerns about her son's recent change of behaviour. He has now three main addictions: cigarettes, computer games and pornography. Four years ago, before I had Joshua, it would've been really easy for me to tell her not to worry, to be patient and wait for the Lord to work His way in her son's life, … that "God has a plan". (I know this: we can pray and guide our young people, and at the end if they still go astray, that's their choice. Even God gives each of us the freedom of choice. But with a good foundation in their faith, they will surely return, even if it's at the end of their lives.) Now, I'm not so sure if I can even convince myself with all these words.
This is not because I don't trust the Lord's goodness and faithfulness in my life and the lives of my loved ones. I just can't trust that I am capable of not worrying and being patient enough to wait for the Lord to do something. That's the human side of us as parents. As much as we want to uphold everything to the Lord, we are also overly worried that our kids will turn from bad to worse. When this mother related her story, I felt her heartache. I imagined myself in her situation and thought, "If Joshua (my three-year-old son) behaves like this in the future, I will really cry out to the Lord on my knees every waking hour."
When we were young, we didn't bother about how our parents felt when we went out late at night. I didn't care about the look on my mother's face when I walked into the house after a whole night of clubbing. I didn't even care if she waited up for me. When I started serving the Lord, I went out for meetings and then supper with the other ministers till the wee hours of the morning and I didn't care that my mother was worried about my health and my expenses on outside food even though she was the one paying. My excuse? I'm serving the Lord, and among good people. I lived as if she owed me a great deal. When I took her car out and she called me to give her a lift (Oh my...this sounds really bad, doesn't it? Give her a lift in her own car?), I'd grumble all the way.
That's how we were as youngsters. The most important people in our lives were friends, friends and those people whom we thought were "looking up to us". There was a time when I blamed my mom for who I was - someone lost without a father. But deep down inside, I knew that I had lived well without my dad. Ever since I was really tiny, I had always looked to the Heavenly Father as my one and only dad. But, you know how it is; we just need someone to put the blame on.
As a parent, I know that we always put the blame on ourselves too when our kids go astray. And it doesn't make it easier when they point their fingers back at us. I know this mother feels this way too. She must feel that she didn't do enough to bring her son up in a more godly way. But, most parents will agree with me in this area, we can only do so much for our kids. At every stage of our kids' life, we are learning and by the time we think we can figure them out, they are already beginning another phase of their lives and we have to start all over again. That is why being a parent is a full-time and life-time job.
However, God has a plan for every one of us. We may not be able to see the end of it yet. We may think that there's no resolution for the problems we're facing at the moment. But, we can always trust the Lord's wonderful hands that can work wonders out of even the worst situation. Nothing is impossible with God. He is, after all, the Author of life.
Jo Terry
