God is Where You Find Him

I grew up in a typical Christian family, in where you got up on Sunday morning, put on your good clothes, and went to Church along with your relatives and friends. I used to enjoy going to Church, because I used to enjoy being in God's House. I would feel so happy and alive singing His praises, and feeling His Presence in the building where I was. It was exciting to know that so many of us were all gathered in one place, celebrating Him, and our love for Him.

Things changed as I grew up. I began to notice more and more, that the people in Church would spend a great deal talking about the events of the week past. Who said what. Who did what. I can remember overhearing people whispering to each other because Mr. X was wearing casual pants, and not his Sunday best. That Mrs. X was seen at a dance the other night, drinking.

I stopped going to Church, because I felt angry. Angry that people were poisoning God's House in such a way.

As a teenager, I starting hanging out with some friends of mine who were of the same denomination I was, and I stayed over a few nights. One day we went to their Church, and what a difference! The songs were uplifting, happy, joyous! People wore what they could, but more emphasis was put on your soul rather than your wardrobe.

When I returned to my own Church, how dreary it seemed! The songs, the very same songs I sang at my friend's Church, were long and drawn out, as if the people there could not equate joy with God. To show you really loved Him, it seemed, you had to sound as if you were in mourning.

Once again, I stopped going. I was starting to dread going to Church, because it was so sad, so depressing.

As I grew into a woman, I also started seeing things that made no sense to me. Why would God, who made all his people into two groups, Man and Woman, then turn around and subjugate one of the sexes? Perhaps Men are meant to be stronger, yes, to protect hearth and home, but that doesn't mean a woman is any less than man. The Catholic Church, for example, won't even allow women priests. Why? Do they honestly feel that men are more holy than women, more able to channel God? Did God truly give us all the animals to use, not for food and clothing when there was no other choice, but however we see fit?

I began to drift from God more and more. Upon entering University, I studied the Old Testament, and was further dismayed by how much of the Bible has actually been written by man. A great deal, such as "Thou shall not suffer a Witch to live", was actually put in there by King James, not God. How much more of the Bible was added by man, how much removed because it didn't fit with their personal view of God?

I drifted, lost. As a child, I had a very close, personal relationship with God. I could feel Him and His love around me, and I was content. As an adult, I was bereft of Him, and missing Him sorely.

It was then, that I started walking my dog in the nearby park.

The park is not a large park. It's pretty small by most camping standards. It has just recently gotten a comfort station, with showers, and a dumping station for the RV's that pass through. A golf course has been added, boosting it's occupation.

But when you walk along the path, the trees almost close the sky overhead, and the green moss on the ground is as soft as feathers. You walk along the paths, and if you are quiet, you can see rabbits browsing on the greenery that grows near the path edge. Birds fly from branch to branch, calling. Chickadees are very common there, and if you cannot see them, you can certainly hear them "yoo-hooing" back and forth to each other. Even the very air seems to have a wonderful green scent, lush and thick and alive.

I can feel His presence there so well. In the soft calls of the birds. In the flash of brown fur as a rabbit races past. In the very cool air that almost seems to pulse with life. I can see His face in every leaf on every tree, in the small, shy white flowers that grow in the little spots of sunlight that filter down through the trees. I can hear His voice in the soft sigh of the breezes that stir the old pine branches into motion.

When you are looking for God, do not despair if you cannot find Him in the traditional sense, at a Church. Sometimes your connection with God is to be found in another place.