Next time you pass an elliptical exercise machine, take a few seconds to pause. For on one of those machines there is a silhouette of a man named David Schower. Sadly, he recently passed away on December 9, 2007.
I had the pleasure of getting to know this man in the early mornings during the week at Wyomissing Gold's Gym. In fact David was like the sunrise, always there when expected. I shared numerous stories and laughs with him and yet knew virtually nothing about him. Or so I thought.
Never being told his age or any other specific details, I realized he was telling me about himself without actually telling me. You see David was a very angry, lonely, dejected and a bitter, bitter man. As a result he was also somewhat introverted and guarded. Although I believe he wanted friends and family, he had formed a force field between him and humanity. The reasons for this were a bit unclear. Through his cryptic way of sharing life experiences, I was spoon fed some events of his life. I was led to conclude he was an orphan. He had no family that he spoke of. It appears he was born and raised in the Reading, Pa area. David did occasionally make reference to a friend he had in Newport News, VA.
Ironically though he would speak of his earlier life as if he it was different for him then. As if he once had a more “normal” or conventional interaction with life. He implied that as a young man he was somewhat athletic and someone who looked toward a brighter future.
In fact he believed it was important for his future to voluntarily enter the military. Based on some of the things he spoke of it was somewhere in the late "90"s or 2000 that this happened. Through our brief encounters I was able to decipher that he had discovered that his view of reality met a very rude awakening during this time of his life. According to David he truly had some degree of hope in tomorrow. That the terrorist threat was imminent and needed to be dealt with. Then he found himself in Afghanistan sometime after the September 11 th motivated retaliatory strikes.
David was a very diminutive man. Maybe 5' tall if he stood straight as humanly possible. And due his physical specifications, David was sent into these small crevices and caves in Afghanistan. Yes the infamous search for Osama Bin Laden. Very quickly David started to see things' different. He told me that it dawned on him that Bin Laden was reportedly 6' 5" tall. So he asked his commanders why is a small man looking for a large man in holes that even the small man can barely traverse? He never got an answer. In fact he then began to see that there were many unanswered questions. Nonetheless he did his best. He even was sent to Iraq at one point. He felt his eyes were opened to a cruel world and that even the country he thought led the cause for a new day, had exposed its true barbaric nature. His expressions relayed the fact that he felt the people of the Middle East were in the same conundrum as the so called “liberators.”
When he eventually returned home, he felt betrayed and also ashamed of his participation in what he described as just a cheap publicity stunt for a world of propaganda. (Keep in mind whether the reader agrees with David's convictions or not is irrelevant. This is how he felt)
Soon after his homecoming he also had become very ill. He never clarified what exactly happened or what was wrong, but only that he was not the only one who returned that way. This he discovered by his reaching out to the Veteran's Hospital. Apparently he was examined as were the others he knew of, only to be told that the “condition” couldn't have possibly had anything to do with being in Afghanistan and Iraq. Although non - military Doctors informed him the exact opposite. As were the others he knew of were also told. He fought this battle of contradictions to no avail. No compromise, explanation, or any help was offered. Although he took exception that the parking lot at the VA Hospital was full of cars with “support the troops” ribbons on their cars.
He explained to me this condition led to his having some form of Leukemia. This in my opinion is where he really entered the “black hole” existence he buried himself in. The word betrayal was not even close to describing how he felt after all of this.
This is the David I knew. To add insult to injury there is more. As a result of his illness his appearance made him look as if he was an anorexic or extremely famished person. He maybe weighed 70 ? pds. This not only caused an unthinkable self loathing but according to him also brought the ridicule and cruelty of others upon him. For instance at work he was pressured into using the break room only if no one else was in there when he was. There are many other stories he shared about being treated harshly that I will not share. Nor the less than desirable living conditions a woman who tried helping him revealed during a chance conversation I had with her. Feeling sorry for his quality of life somehow wasn't the message he wanted me to learn.
Best wishes.
Sincerely,
-Liane Schmidt.