Premarital Intimacy

From the current society trend, the answer to this question seems affirmative. However sociological and medical studies prove God’s Word, which supports intimacy only within marriage, proved solid ground for abstaining until the wedding vows are said.

Biblical Terminology Clarified

As there is a difference from older translations of the Bible from the newer translations on words pertaining to intimacy, a brief explanation so that we will all be on the same “page”.

• Fornication (used in the King James Version) refers to a man who has an intimate relationship with an unmarried woman, who is still a virgin.
• Adultery - refers to a man who has an intimate relationship with any woman regardless of her marital status (unmarried, engaged, married or widowed).
• Sexual Immorality (used in newer translations) refers to any sexual relationship prior to marriage.

God’s View Point

There are abundant scriptural references which clearly states God’s position on the question of living together before being married. Only a few have been quoted below:

• “…you are to abstain from….sexual immorality.” Acts 15:29 NIV
• “The acts of the sinful nature are obvious; sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery…I am He who searches the hearts and minds, and I sill repay each of you according to your deeds.” Galatians 5:19 & 23 NIV
• “It is God’s will…that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body…” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 NIV
• “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral.” Hebrews 13:4 NIV

In today’s fast pace contemporary culture where there is a great laxness for traditional values such as; respect, obedience, commitment, honor, trust, and yes, even love, the questions often asked is “What harm could living together cause? Surely God will cut us a little slack, we plan to marry.

First God’s Word is clear on His position of premarital intimacy. Living together is a breeding ground for an intimate relationship. God’s Word is exactly like God - unchanged. The reasons the Almighty makes rules for His human creation to abide by is that He loves us and wants what is best for us.

Most parents have the same kind of love, (to a lesser degree) for their children. As a result, rules and boundaries are set for keeping their children safe. God’s rules are no different.

The Medical Harm

Two medical harms affecting couples are sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and pregnancy.

During the sixties there arose a greater concern for STDs in our society than what was seen prior. Part of the reason for this elevated concern is that many forms of STDs began to escalate. And STDs were seen with greater clarity as the serious health condition these pose to the individual. Many of the STDs have the potential of causing infertility. And with the emergence of HIV/AIDS, even death.

According to an Internet article written by Dr. Larissa Hirsch, M.D. (March 2007), the only sure way to prevent STDs is:

• Complete abstinence from all forms of premarital intimacy
• To have only one partner, and for your partner to be yours, exclusively

Incidentally, almost all birth control methods do not prevent STDs. While these devices are fairly accurate at preventing pregnancy, they are not effective in preventing STDs.

In another report, prepared by A. Akerof and Janet L. Yeller (Brief number five), for the Brookings Institute, the following statistics were presented:

• 1966-1969 there were 322 thousand out-of-wedlock pregnancies
• 1980-1984 there were 710 thousand out-of-wedlock pregnancies

There have been volumes of information written about the harm out-of-wedlock pregnancies cause and will continue to cause; from formal studies and reports to casual testimonials. The facts from whatever the source conclude there are only three choices an unwed mother has regarding her pregnancy.

1. She can abort the pregnancy. While this may seem like an easy solution, it isn’t without serious side affects. If an abortion clinic is chosen (which is often the case), past records have proven the medical staff often are not professionals doctors or nurses. This has resulted in serious and often irreversible physical complications for the mother (from infections to infertility). Regardless of the qualifications of who performs the abortion, there are far too many cases of unwed mothers acquiring serious psychological problems.
2. The unwed mother can give her baby up for adoption; a better choice than abortion. But it isn’t without possible emotional and psychological ramifications. Many women once they see and hold their baby, desire to keep it. This is maternal instinct. To give their baby up is a heavy heartbreak. And should they never see or hold their baby, results in a lack of closure for them. This can become a psychological issue which can lead to serious depression.
3. A decision to keep the baby to try to raise it as a single parent, in the event the father skips out on assuming the responsibility for it, is a very difficult road to travel, but often the best decision of the three available to the unwed mother.