As I look around today at all of the worldly influences on young people, I'm amazed that children can navigate the many errant temptations that flood their young lives. When I was growing up, my parents controlled the type and amount of television I watched, were imminently involved in the type of people with whom I associated, and were generally, keenly interested in how I expressed and behaved myself both at home and in public. In fact, I've been reminded many times as an adult by my siblings that I was better behaved in public than I was at home. That notwithstanding, I realize as I look upon the children of the twenty-first century, that they are born into a much more permissive society than I was. How are parents supposed to know how to keep their children well advised of Christian morals without alienating them?
A first line of defense against having your children go astray is to begin teaching them Christian principles when they are very young. My parents read to me from a Christian bible often, sent me to bible school during the summers, and enrolled me in Catholic school during the school year. There were very few if ever, chances for me not to be influenced by moral guidelines that were uncompromising and constant. Today, anything other than a morally straight path seems foreign to me, but appears just the opposite to many children growing up in urban environments.
A second line of defense against having your children go astray is to talk with them often, honestly and gently. As a young adult mentor, I'm surprised at the number of parents who view speaking with their children as a chore, or as if they were afraid to speak with them. Nothing could be further from the truth. I've counseled college students who have told me quite routinely that their parents don't care what they do. I also mentored younger children who are eager to speak to me about life because they don't get such stimulation from their parents. Children face more pressures outside the home today than in decades past, so they need to get as much positive stimulation from inside the home to counteract the negative pressures from outside the home. Talking with children about behavior that is morally right should be a pleasant task that manifests itself in a non-judgmental fashion. In other words, if you're constantly admonishing your children about their behavior, then you're becoming a negative pressure instead of relieving one. Ask them how they feel about telling the truth, about being service-oriented, or about being a Christian role model. That can be your opportunity to gently input suggestions that might start off as seeds, and end up taking root in the richness of their lives.
A last line of defense is to live by example. I'm amazed at many parents who have the "do as you"re told, not as I do' mentality toward raising their children. Keen, astute children will perceive this behavior as rightly hypocritical, which will go a long way toward alienating you as an ally in an unchristian world. You want your children to come to you with their questions, problems and concerns so that you can work with them to find amiable solutions. Otherwise, they'll find solutions elsewhere that you might not like. And your job is to be as open as possible while not compromising your principles. Trying to see their difficulties through their eyes isn't easy, but it is reasonable.
Children can't be as innocent as when you were growing up because the world isn't as innocent anymore. But they can be surrounded by as much loving attention and concern as you can supply. So, as someone once said, be the miracle in their lives.
