From a combination of physical, mental and emotional exhaustion, Gary and I had fallen asleep in his Mother's living room. We had been taking care of “our” dear “Momma,” who, just three weeks prior, had been diagnosed with brain cancer. Having been told that she might have up to six months left, it was with great emotion and heaviness of heart that we added to her care, after suffering for years with Alzheimer's disease this new tragic diagnosis.
Momma had only one wish during her last years -- to know that we would never leave and that we would always be with her. We, as always, assured her that, of course, we would. She always knew she could call out our names, “Gary? John?” knowing that either one or both of us would come and assist.
Unfortunately, Momma's condition, due to the recent cancer, deteriorated quickly. Momma started asking us if she was going to die. Forced out of necessity, having not been actively involved in church for years, our faith and beliefs were being called into service, from what we had been taught by our respective parents. Our religious upbringing assured us of God's grace and care.
In addition, we were able to remind Momma of her early childhood and upbringing in the Lutheran Church and Baptism as a child. We then reassured her that we would be there to care for her until Jesus decided that He would take over her care, and would take her home to be cared for forever.
Through the struggle of our pending grief at her loss, the ability to reach back into the core of our religious faith gave us joy in being able to address her questions about the future without fear. Our expression of Jesus' love and care for her was reassuring, as she also accepted the gift of our undying love and dedication to her. Our ability to witness to Momma renewed a spiritually within us.
As Momma was fast approaching her last hours on earth, we were awoken early in the morning by the most joyous and forceful singing coming from her bedroom. It was not necessary to check on Momma. She was singing the glorious praises of God. Although not discernible by tune or words, it could not be mistaken. The singing was coming from the depths of her innermost being, expressing what she could see of her Heavenly Home awaiting her in the hours ahead.
We realized, in the week following her passing, that within us had been awakened, what we had put aside for so long We grew tremendously in our renewed faith, as we had fulfilled her final wish. We were with her until she was in the presence of the Lord. The Holy Spirit had always been with us. He had always watched over us, and provided strength and support for us in our needs. We now desired to worship with fellow believers in a welcoming, affirming and loving church, where we would be accepted without judgment of lifestyle.
Following Momma's death, Gary was baptized as he had accepted Jesus, as Lord, praying the sinners' prayer. I was brought up in an extremely conservative evangelical Baptist denomination that was and still is neither welcoming nor affirming of our situation.
A central theme went through our minds, as our search for an appropriate church home began. Our new fellowship must be with a group of Christians, who believe, along with us, that salvation begins with Jesus Christ. Any church meeting our needs, will reflect that “The Foot of the Cross” is where salvation begins. A personal relationship with Christ, must remain central to a local church's teaching, in a denomination neither of us has experienced before. We have begun a mission that for us will be “A SPIRITUAL FIT.”
