The act of Copulation or sex was designed by God to be a wonderful experience between a husband and a wife, both for procreation and for the expression of love and fulfillment one toward another. When neither purpose is being served, copulation becomes a selfish perversion of sex rather than a selfless act of love. The human body and the sex act were designed by our Creator God who has a perfect knowledge of all its intricacies. They were meant to be enjoyed and respected by the one we choose to take in love and marriage. We are commanded of God to love each other, as we love our own flesh. But for everything that God has created for the good of mankind, Satan has devised a perversion thereof. And for every liberty that God has given to His children, there must also be restraint in those liberties.
Pornography has been touted by some as a harmless sin, one in which nobody gets hurt. But from a Christian perspective, pornography has many devastating effects on the hearts and lives of couples and families. From the soft-core harmless kind to the hard core violent kind, pornography is destructive to its victims, whether they are adults or children. Though some believe there is no harm in the soft core layouts and that the body should be admired in its most intimate state, the truth is that this admiration and intimacy was meant to remain between two committed individuals in a matrimonial state of existence. Sex was meant to be a pleasurable and blessed event between a man and a woman in a relationship ordained by God. Sex is not meant to be a freely pleasurable act between individuals who have not been given God's blessing of holy matrimony.
When pornography invades the homes of Christian individuals and families, it affects the marital relationship, the familial relations, and sometimes even the financial stability of the family whenever expensive forms of pornographic materials are consumed. In this technological age of computerized images and telephonic auditorial sensations, an obsessed and addicted spouse or parent can be the devastation of the whole family. Only with love, patience, and forgiveness, can families overcome the painful effects of pornography.
When a husband is first confronted with his wife's expanding figure during the period of pregnancy and afterwards, if he is accustomed to seeing the perfection of pornography, he may come to believe she will never regain her youthful figure and that she will never be the woman to him that she previously was. If he continuously compares her to the brushed up photos in these materials, he will inevitably be somewhat disappointed with the reality of his wife's changing proportions. And if the wife unexpectedly happens to run across her husband's secret stash of pornography while she is in her most vulnerable state, her self-esteem also will eventually be affected when she realizes her husband doesn't view her the same as he used to. If she compares herself, while her belly is about to burst with child, to the perfect bodies that her husband seems to enjoy pleasuring in, she cannot help but become somewhat depressed. Her fragile self-image will be placed on the altar of her husband's selfishness, while his ego is kept in tact, if he suits his own pleasures without any respect for her feelings.
He may try to convince his wife that the pornography he uses will enhance their sex life, making their sexual encounters more exciting, if she joins him in its use. If she is seduced by his temptations to join in on the fun, and gives in to his suggestions, she may also fall into the patterns of addictive behavior, all the while a breech forms between them that may never be mended. She may even begin to fantasize about illicit relationships, fueled by her true desire for a loving relationship with her husband. Though she may truly covet the honored place of her husband's desires, she may feel that she cannot hold the place she once did in his eyes. If he continues to lust for the perfect images that he beholds in the pornography's glossy pages, he may attempt to fulfill his desires through fantasy and masturbation. And she will likely attempt to learn all the tricks of the trade in order to become the woman of his desires, while struggling to hold on to her man and her self-respect.
But his desire for her to be a whore in the bedroom will inevitably fuel his disrespect for her in other areas of their lives. He might begin to find fault with other aspects of her person, questioning her desires, her motives, her actions, and finally her faithfulness. What should be a selfless act of love becomes a selfish war of passions. She may yield to his whims even when she herself is uncomfortable with a particular sexual conduct. If she does yield because of her desire to please him, and behaves in ways that she is uncomfortable with, she may become guilty and resentful, which may eventually become hatred unless the problem is resolved and the partners learn to forgive each other. This hatred can also become self-hatred if the guilt is too intense when it is directed toward her husband. This self-hatred may then become suicidal thoughts and tendencies, which can lead to successful suicide attempts.
