The Obedience and Submission of Women

In the New Testament writings of Paul the Apostle, he put several precepts concerning the culture and period of his time before the early church that are still very much debated. He gave several recommendations concerning women's conduct and dress that most Christians today understand were culturally based for the time period, but some believe are still required in today's culture. He wrote particularly concerning women's hairstyles, dress, and roles in the church. Women were told that their hair should be kept long and not with fancy braids, their clothing should not be that of a man's, they should wear a head covering when they pray, and that they were not allowed to speak in the church. These ordinances were given so those godly, Christian women might be distinguished from the temple prostitutes of other religious practices, who wore their hair cut short, wore immodest clothing and were notorious for their “babbling” which was disruptive to worship. Also other religions were notorious for women priestesses, which sometimes lorded it over the men in the system.

When Paul wrote these ordinances, the principle behind them was to be distinguishable from the pagan people and their religious practices. Paul also noted that if any seemed to disagree with these practices, then the church had no such customs or ordinances. In today's culture we are still to remain distinguishable from worldly behaviors and attitudes, though we are no longer compelled to wear our hair a certain style, or cover ourselves from head to toe. We are, however, compelled to dress modestly and appropriately for being godly women in our present culture, not in any ungodly fashion that would be overtly tempting to other Christians. Nor do women have to “keep silent” at church, but we are to conduct ourselves in a manner which is not disruptive to orderly worship.

One of today's most contested admonitions that Paul made to the early church was his statement that women should not usurp the authority of a man. Some argue that this passage expressly forbids women to preach or teach any group which includes men. The principle behind this precept is that one should not be grasping for power and influence at the expense of another's ministerial position. A woman should not seek to attain a position of authority over an existing ministry so as to demean the position of another's authority in the church. She should not be covetous of a particular ministry, though she may have a teaching or ministering position in her own right and she might also instruct men in that capacity. But she should be careful not to trample on another's ministerial territory, especially if he or she is currently in a position of authority in the church. There are so few godly men in the church and ministry today, that women might fill that void, lest the fields go unharvested and many souls be lost to the ungodliness of the times. But where a man is in a position of authority, a woman should not seek to usurp his leadership position, while remaining in subjection to the authority of his headship.

God has indeed ordained a hierarchy of position in his design of mankind's spiritual and cultural constitutions, but as we seek to preserve God's design, we should not neglect the weightier matters of bringing His good news to a lost and dying world. If a woman is called to God's ministry and she finds an outlet for that ministry, then by all means she should pursue every available avenue for that calling. And if she falls under the headship of a man in authority, she should respect that position. But if there is no man in authority in the ministry in which she feels led to, then she may assume a leadership position in her own right in order to facilitate that ministry. If she establishes a position of leadership within her chosen ministry, then a man should not seek authority over her, where there has not previously been a man in authority. Every Christian leader is called to be above reproach, while backbiting and power-grubbing should not be named among those with their standing. Godly men and women should always conduct themselves with respect for each other and respect for positions of authority, knowing that God is the ultimate authority of us all.

The obedience and submission of wives is also often commented on in today's pulpits, as it is a proper topic for teaching the orderliness of God's plan. But often these teachings are referenced by accentuating the obedience and submission of wives without due reference to the later portion of the verses, which clearly attaches that obedience and submission to the ultimate authority of God. Proper and proportionate reference should be made to the endings of these verses: “as to the Lord”(Ephesians 5:22), “as is fitting in the Lord”(Colossians 3:18), and finally, “that the word of God be not blasphemed”(Titus 2:5). All of these phrases give us a principle by which we are to keep the precepts of obedience and submission. We are to submit to one another in the Lord (Ephesians 5:21), not Lord it over one another with power struggles. Blind obedience to any and all commands of a man is never what the Lord requires of a woman. What the Lord requires is a respect for His ultimate authority and the order of His plan. Yes, we are to respect the authority of our husband and man in general, but we are to do so in accord with God's whole counsel. Some husband's do not respect the authority of Christ as his head, and therefore do not necessarily follow godly practices and principles.

When a woman is put in the position of choosing obedience and submission to her husband or obedience and submission to God, she should obey God rather than man. But women should be duly warned that this could sometimes result in abusive behaviors by their husbands. Nevertheless she should never lower her standards or godly principles to please ungodly and inappropriate demands. If a woman lowers her standard's to accommodate ungodly desires then it is unlikely that her husband will be won over to the faith by observing her conduct (I Peter 3:1-2). This is especially true where sexuality is concerned. Some husbands have been known to ruthlessly demand obedience to commands of ungodly sexual license, while wives under the guise of submission have endured lives of hell on earth, believing all the while that they were doing what God demanded of them by being obedient to their husbands. Wives should never be obedient to commands such as staying out of church, keeping children from worship, sexual improprieties, or any other such request, command, or coercion that would be considered contrary to the teaching of the word of God. Women should therefore be as submissive and obedient as is possible in the Lord without being contrary to His word.