Encouragement costs so little to give, so why don't we give more? One small comment, a smile, a hand's touch, even our personal presence, can lift another's spirit. And just as easily, a word of criticism (even so-called “constructive” criticism) can dash another's spirit and hopes.
The power of words spoken into someone's life should never be underestimated. Now in my senior years, I am often reminded of things I said many years ago, long since forgotten by me, but still remaining in the memories of the ones to whom I spoke. Little did I realize how “memorable” my words would be, and little did I anticipate the sense of regret I now often feel for the things which would have been better left unspoken. Like toothpaste escaped from its tube, so are spoken words - they cannot be retrieved.
Encouragement gives the hearer feelings of worthiness and hope. And this point is so important. While actual words spoken may be forgotten, their impact, or how they make the hearer feel, will often remain in the hearer's memory for life. Thinking back to school days, most will remember either with affection or dislike the teachers who made them feel good, or made them feel bad. Feelings of worthiness in a young person can be ignited and set aflame for life, if words of encouragement, along with those which define boundaries, are spoken into that young life.
Isaiah the Prophet said, “If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk … then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday”. (Isaiah 58 NIV Bible). Blessing belongs to both the speaker and the hearer, when encouragement rather than criticism is given. If our words are wounding or dragging another down, there is need for repentance on our part, and a change both of heart and of speech, before it is too late and opportunity for reparation is gone.
Job's response to Bildad, one of his three “comforters”, was: “How long will you torment me and crush me with words?” (Job 19 NIV Bible). If anybody ever needed encouragement, it was Job. Yet those who came to comfort him, though well-meaning, often missed the mark. They spoke from their own convictions rather than to Job's need.
Even the world of nature can teach us in this area. Geese usually fly in a vee-formation, because each bird flies in the updraft of the wings of the bird in front of it. The birds at the back honk to the others up ahead, encouraging them to keep on course and maintain speed. The geese increase their flying distance by 70 per cent by flying in such a group, rather than alone. The lesson is plain.
John Bunyan, in Pilgrim's Progress, described the way in which Help took the hand of Christian as he was sinking in the Slough of Despond, saying, “Give me thy hand”. Christian was lifted from the bog and helped onto dry ground. The words we speak may be the hand that lifts another from a marshy bog of grief, hopelessness, inner hurt, or pain. The person standing next to us in the shopping queue may have just come from their doctor after hearing devastating news concerning their health. We never know from where a person has just come, or their life experience.
Yet speaking encouragement into the life of another must have no other motive than to genuinely bless that person. If we inwardly seek to stand well in another's opinion, to gain their favour or friendship, then our words are motivated more by our own need than theirs. Avoid such hypocrisy. A person speaks from the treasure of his heart, and our encouragement of others should ideally spring from a heart of genuine concern, compassion and sincerity. Only then can our words reflect the merciful heart of God.
We only pass through this world once, and many opportunities we have to encourage will never be repeated. Even today, we may encounter someone who will never cross our path again. So encourage someone today.
Long ago, David, King of Israel, prayed: “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.” (Psalm 19 NIV Bible).
Many years after, David's son Solomon would write, “The lips of the righteous nourish many”. (Proverbs 10 NIV Bible).
It was only a sunny smile
And little it cost in the giving,
But it scattered my night like morning light
And made my day worth living.
