Dear Lord,
Help me when I just can't. It's like a mud slide slowly creeping. It's got my legs I can't move and I see it, slowly rising to my waist were any minute and I can't breathe as it seems to surround and crush my chest. I open my mouth to scream and nothing comes out, I just don't know how to express the sadness, or even the emptiness of the moment, and sometimes it's like a jabbing, growing hole in my heart that doesn't expand but cave ins, internally, turning and creating knots that are so tight it takes every conscious effort to just breathe. Just help me hang on, just one gasp at a time, even if you just help me lift an angry fist in the air, because that is better than the unexplainable souless emptiness that engulfs me in this dark despair.
Lord, just let me close my eyes and breathe, one breath at time, and then another and help me, help myself by reaching out to someone, a friend, a family member, a stranger, anyone, please help me reach out to you Lord... you.., let me know you are there.
Lord, let me understand sometimes why I just can't talk, and it's okay if I just can't talk, but Lord, just sit by me, hold me and make me feel like holding on even if the words don't come. Let me accept that sometimes I don't how to put the words or phrases together to let it out. It is okay to not know how to say something, just Lord be with me and help me hold on.
Lord, stay with me in this moment of lost, moment of everything spinning in madness, Lord be here with me and help me get control and know that I have to not ever quit and let me know, let me feel, let me say I am a survivor. I can do this. I am here and with each breath I am alive and I will survive.
Lord, I am here, be with me, be my candle and be with me as I stare at the light and find the hope that shimmers in the flame. Let me know that somewhere else there's another candle with a small flame dancing day or night sending waves of love through the darkness so that hope can be felt.
Lord, let me close my eyes and see many candles all lined up in row, shimmering, dancing and fighting to keep the flame going. Help me say, I am the beautiful flame shimmering, dancing and daring to fight to keep going. Lord, I will hold on. Amen.
