While I know it isn’t easy to fulfill every single one, every single day, here is a guide on how to make the commandments more relevant and achievable in the 21st century.
I Am the Lord Your God Who Took You Out of Egypt, from the House of Slaves.
Well, this is easy to abide by and remember- just look out your window. Do you see camels, pyramids, and a half naked man cracking a whip? If not, you're in slavery in Egypt. Say a quiet thank you to God for making you a free being in Australia, and that the only evidence of slavery in your life is when your partner asks you to clean the house.
Do Not Have Other Gods Before Me
So while you may have an urge to bow down to Angelina Jolie who you consider to be an absolute goddess, stop now! Is she able to help the Messiah along? Or will she answer your prayers when looking for a parking spot? I didn't think.
Do Not Say God's Name in Vain
Rather than blaming God for the sock missing from your washing basket or for making you leave the fridge door open, thank Him for giving you clothes to wear in the first place and for giving you perishable food items that have the capacity to go off.
Remember the Day of Sabbath and Keep it Holy
Since Sabbath is the day of rest, it's the perfect opportunity for sleeping in and being lazy! So if you have guests over for dinner and the house looks like it's been hit by a tornado, don't fret. You have been RELAXING & praying all day. It's definitely worth it!
Honour Your Father and Your Mother
In other words, be nice to them! So that means call them when you say you will, repay the money you owe, and don't be late for family dinners!
Do Not Kill
I don't think this commandment needs to be much clearer. But if you are confused at all, please call 000 & tell them your name. It will save the Police time in future murder investigations.
Do Not Commit Adultery
Although you may be attracted to the SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy) who lives next door, remember the vows you agreed to on your wedding day. Even if you've forgotten, I'm sure you've heard the words "til death do us part" in Hollywood movies at least twice a year!
Do Not Steal
So while you may be desperate to own a 50 inch LCD television to watch the Footy, I'd advise you to start saving rather than stealing it from the store. Apart from being illegal, it's also kind of hard to sneak a TV of that size out the door without being noticed…
Do Not Bear False Witness
Yes, we all love a good gossip session, but the last thing anyone wants is to be blamed for something they didn't do. So rather than blaming an elderly neighbour for running over your family pet, consider telling your crying child that it was actually you. What kind of pet is a rat anyway?
Do Not Covet
Of course we all get bitten by the jealousy bug from time to time. It's only natural. But the idea is to be content with what you have. Think of it this way; while you may heavily resent your colleague for purchasing a new Ferrari, think about their massive expenditure on fuel. Your little economical Toyota Echo doesn't seem as bad now, does it?
