Over the past few years, I have been involved with several different online communities and forums that frequently raise questions about God. I have also been involved in personal discussions in the real world about Him and my beliefs. I am often asked, “Why do you believe in God”, or “Why are you a Christian”.
Equally as interesting, I came across literally hundreds of discussions with people who claimed to be Pagan, or Witches, and even Atheists. For the most part, they seemed to be educated, intelligent people with valid reasons why they don't believe in God as I do and they often give an intelligent response as to why they practice the beliefs they say they believe in.
Discussions and conversations such as these made me wonder; what has happened in these people's lives that made them not believe in God? Is there a time in these people's lives when they ever truly believed in God? With the understanding of the way the world is today, how could anyone not believe in God? It was extremely perplexing to me. I set out to try to find out why people make the choice not to believe in Him.
Honestly, I wasn't very successful in my endeavor. Each time I asked a question, such as, “Why don't you believe in God”; I ended up with responses like, “Because he doesn't exist”, or “He's never done anything for me to show he exists”. Sometimes, I had the question thrown back into my face, as they asked, “Why do you”?
I decided years ago, if I was going to be asked those kinds of questions, while still presenting myself as a believer and one who was not ashamed to proclaim my Christianity, I needed a reasonable answer available. I didn't need scripture to back up why I believe in God. It wasn't my intention to try to convert anyone. I didn't need to be able to quote dozens of scriptures to someone who asked me why I was a Christian. I needed an answer to the question itself. I started asking myself the same question. “Why do I believe in God”, and “Why am I a Christian”?
The reason for the first question is self-evident. The reason for the second question was because I needed a reason why I chose being a Christian over being some other religion. It's not like I didn't try other religions as I was growing up. I got involved in several. None of them were meant for me. Besides, God had his plan for my life before I was ever in my mother's womb. I didn't know that at the time, but believe in it completely now.
I remember as a child going to Sunday school and Church. The whole family never missed a Sunday. At least it seemed like that to me. The truth of the matter is, I now remember myself being in Sunday school and church, but the rest of the family wasn't there. That's another reason I believe God had his plan for me, even then.
I was a normal teenager, doing normal teenaged stuff. Just like everyone else, I had to find my boundaries. I had to discover what it was I truly believed in, always keeping in mind where my discoveries and beliefs would take me. I ended up sidetracked more than once. I got involved in metaphysics, witchcraft, and other things. I attended different churches and temples throughout my young adulthood, looking for the answers to life. I was involved in things I knew were not healthy for me, but I did them anyway because they were all a part of growing up and finding myself. I got involved in drugs in the seventies, which led to, well; you can use your imagination here. If you can imagine it, I probably did it.
Through it all, I never quite understood, let-a-lone thought much, about God. Up to that point, I had never completely read the entire Bible. I had memorized a few scriptures but to say that I had actually read or studied God's Word was an understatement. Still, I always felt like something was missing in my life. I just didn't know what, or who.
Dozens of failed relationships later, not being able to find what it is I wanted to do with my life, I decided I was the one who was in control. I set out to take control of my life. I set out to make something of myself; to become somebody. I wanted people and my parents to be proud of me. I wasn't sure how I was going to fulfill the promise to myself, but I knew I had to at least look for a way to become a successful person; one that people would respect. I just didn't know how to do it.
