“I'll pray for you” sounds like an expression of concern and care. Is it always? Should we say it to someone when we don't fully know what they believe? It is a powerful statement that sometimes is trivialized and sometimes said in a manner that does not give the receiver of the statement the best view of the person making the statement. Is it even necessary to let the person know you will be praying for them? A little time to think before we say it can help prevent hurt feelings and misunderstandings.
Prayer is a powerful thing. If it was not so powerful, then there would be no need for this to even be written. With power comes a responsibility. When we feel the urge to pray for someone, we need to stop and think before we share that information with them. First and foremost, should we even tell them we will be praying for them? What good will come from telling them that? Are they so distraught that they need to hear it? Or are we simply telling them to make ourselves look good?
Even if the person is severely distraught and needs both prayer and possibly even to hear that someone cares enough to pray, telling them that can be a disaster. It is like walking on egg shells. Do you know this person and their religious beliefs enough to know without a shadow of a doubt that they have the same religious beliefs as you? Will they be offended?
How are the words being said? This is another egg shell moment. If the words are not spoken very carefully, they may come out as sounding holier than thou or as looking down on the receiver. This happens much more often between two people that may have known each other for years but yet are not that close, haven't known each other for long, or people that rarely talk about deep matters. This can even happen between family members. Before we say the words, we need to stop and think how this person will take this statement.
The number of times that a person says the words can actually make the words seem trivial. If it is said every time someone shares bad news or discusses a difficult time, then it will quickly seem to become just words that pour forth from the speaker's mouth and the listener will assume that the prayer itself is not sent. To them, the speaker is only trying to make themselves look good.
Does the receiver have a private nature in regards to religion? It can not be assumed that just because a person will tell you their life story that they would be open to discussing religion or to having their life discussed in a religious manner. Religion is often a touchy subject with the wide variety of beliefs in the world. Cross that line very carefully.
Are the speaking or typing of the words “I'll pray for you” necessary? Could the prayer be sent quickly and quietly without all the fanfare? The same purpose would be fulfilled, unless the purpose is to make the speaker look good. Regardless, if the belief that the person should know they are being prayed for, have the courtesy to accept their reaction with a grain of salt. Do not take it personally and under no circumstances start dishing the receiver for not accepting the words in any certain way. We never fully know what a person thinks or what they believe. Sometimes it is better to just keep some knowledge to ourselves and pray for others without expecting fanfare or a big band parade.
