I was not born a Catholic. My father, brother, and I all married Catholics, and most of my friends in high school were Catholic. I turned away from the religion for many reasons, but for the most part, I felt the church was no longer serving my needs because I was a woman. Several personal experiences caused me to question the role I had in the church. In the end, I decided the church had no place for me.
My stepmother, who was divorced from a man who physically abused her in front of her children, could not get an annulment from the church. The priest reasoned that because there were children involved, he could not give an annulment. This also meant that she could not marry my father in her church, and their marriage would not be recognized by the Catholic faith. My stepmother was devastated and felt that the church turned their back on her.
I also divorced my husband. My husband was abusive as well, and was diagnosed bi polar and schizophrenic. I am welcome at mass, but I can no longer receive communion. I never bothered to ask for the annulment. I came to the belief that a celibate priest cannot possibly understand the intricacies of relationships. I was further disappointed that there were no women in leadership positions, and saw that my religious life was directed by men alone. The Catholic tradition described women as bloody, harlots, and corrupt, stating that redemption will be found through silence, submission, and childbearing. In my church, women do not have a right to their bodies. Birth control and abortion are not options for the women of Catholic faith. Women cannot be priests or have leadership/decision making roles.
The Catholic Church, into the late 19th Century, proclaimed the inferiority of women, insisted on the subordination of women to their fathers and husbands, and claimed that those who taught equality of the sexes were heretics. Pope Paul VI brought change when he condemned sex discrimination in public life and called the role of women in the church “irreplaceable.” Condemning discrimination in public life, yet allowing it behind the church doors is hypocritical.
Almost all religions have patriarchal structure. I have looked to Buddhism for hope and inspiration. Modern Buddhism is making a place for women, especially here in America. Buddhism is less culturally based, which has helped the religion spread to the West. San Diego has its own female Roshi at the Zen Center, and the late Roshi Myoon Maureen Stewart of Syracuse taught that women could have a family and be an effective spiritual master.
In the beginning, Buddha banned women from practice however later changed the rule to allow them practice separately. The religious texts say little about women, treating them as equals within the law of Dharma. However, cultural stereotypes existed in the early times. Male teachers may have mumbled disapproval under their breath, but women were equal in the universe, according to Buddha.
In 1998, Buddhist leaders gathered to ordain a group of bhikkhuni (nuns) for the first time since the 11th century. This gives women an important leadership role within the Buddhist community. It also served to bring together many different Buddhist leaders from several countries in an effort to link Buddhism worldwide. Conservative members of Southeast Asia's monastic community may not recognize the group of nuns, however, showing that stereotypes exist today.
I have always had an interest in eastern religion. I feel I can relate to much of their teachings. Buddha says all beings are inherently equal and interdependent, and that all can attain enlightenment by cultivating a mind of compassion, humility, equanimity, and wisdom. Being a woman on a religious journey, this is good to hear. While searching for something to fill the void Catholicism left behind, I fell upon a religion that might possibly do that.
